Thursday, September 08, 2005


Materials Testing Room
QA Dept, GSMI Lucena

Another day... at least when I got here this morning, I had a bundle of Gran Matador Brandy 700 mL cartons waiting to be processed. Not unlike yesterday when God probably sensed I had too much work last Tuesday so he held all deliveries... Oh well. Back to boring routine work.


I'm currently listening to Pilgrim's Theme from the Vesper's 3: My Heart's Thanksgiving CD. Read the lyrics and see why I (and Angel too, if you're reading this, di kita inaagawan ng kanta) love this song so much...

Pilgrim's Theme
Lyrics: Johnny Go, S.J.

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear. Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air. Tired of getting tied to doing what's required. Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things?

Through with taking roads someone else designed. Through with chasing stars
that soon forget to shine. Through with going through one more day. What's new? Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things?

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within. Dance to the silent song it sings. I hope to find my place, so my life will fall in place. I know in time I'll find my place in the greater scheme of things.

Each must go his way, but how can I decide which path I should take? Who would be my guide? I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far. To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things.

The road before me bends. I don't know what I'll find. Will I meet a friend, or ghosts I've left behind? Will I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise? For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things.

So here I follow the voice that calls within. Dance to the silent song it sings. I hope to find my place, so my life will fall in place, for Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams. You are the heart, the very heart in the greater scheme of things.

Why don't we follow the voice that calls within? Dance to the silent song it sings. One day we'll find our place, for all things fall in place. For all things have a place in the greater scheme of things.

Sometimes you'll really feel weary especially when every new day seems to be like the day before... when the routineness of work gets to your nerves and you seem to have a hard time finding meaning in what you're doing...

And things can get more confusing when even you don't know yourself what path you want to follow, when there are far too many stars in heaven that you want to reach, when the dreams that you weave, whose designs intertwine into something unapparent, are seemingly too grand for you...


Last Sunday, somebody said to me in a sort of exasperated way that I'm always tired. I know that she meant that as a joke but...

I guess there's a hint of truth in that statement. I am tired. I don't know why I'm having a hard time waking up in the morning, going through the day, and even sleeping. I'm getting fat and I'm too tired to do something about it that I'm looking for too many reasons not to exercise. I'm getting lonely and I rant about not having friends in Lucena but I don't go out of my way to meet new friends or keep in touch with old ones. I'm losing my will to chase this dream of becoming a doctor but then, here I am again with a grander dream of marrying the girl of my songs and owning a publishing/printing house to boot. I rant while trudging down this beaten path... I rant... rant... rant... rant...

I'm always tired. Or maybe I'm just plain lazy...



I think this is enough.

If only it would be that easy to leave my old self behind like that guy running down an unpaved path in the Nike (or was that Adidas?) commercial... Oh well.

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